How Big is My Problem?
Last updated: December 2024
For kids: Learning to measure your problems helps you know when to handle things yourself and when to ask for help. Not every problem needs the same reaction.
Emergency
You definitely need help from a grownup (fire, someone is hurt and needs to go to the hospital, a car accident, danger).
Examples:
- •Someone is bleeding a lot
- •There's a fire
- •Someone can't breathe
- •A stranger is trying to hurt you
Gigantic problem
You can change with a lot of help (getting lost, hitting, kicking, or punching a friend, throwing or breaking things, bullying).
Examples:
- •You got lost in a store
- •You hit your friend
- •You broke something important
- •Someone is bullying you or a friend
Big problem
You can change with some help (someone is mean to you or takes something that is yours, a minor accident, needing help calming down).
Examples:
- •Someone took your toy without asking
- •You fell and scraped your knee
- •You're too upset to calm down alone
- •Your friend won't share
Medium problem
You can change with a little help (feeling sick, tired, or hungry, someone bothering you, being afraid, needing help).
Examples:
- •Your tummy hurts a little
- •You're tired and cranky
- •Someone is annoying you
- •You're scared of the dark
Little problem
You can change with a little reminder (not being line leader, not winning a game, not taking turns, making a mess).
Examples:
- •You didn't get to be first
- •You lost a game
- •You have to wait your turn
- •You spilled your juice
Glitch
You can fix yourself (changing clothes, cleaning up toys, forgetting favorite toy at home).
Examples:
- •Your shirt is on backwards
- •You forgot to put your toys away
- •You dropped a crayon
- •Your shoe came untied
The size of your reaction should match the size of your problem. Big reactions for little problems make everything harder.
Learning to Size Up Problems
One of the most important life skills is knowing how big a problem really is. When you can tell the difference between a glitch and an emergency, you can save your energy and emotions for things that truly matter.
This problem scale helps you practice matching your reaction to the situation. Lost a game? That's probably a level 1. Can't find your parent in a store? That's a level 4 or 5. The more you practice, the better you'll get at staying calm when things go wrong.
Tips for Using the Problem Scale
- Stop and think before you react - ask yourself "How big is this really?"
- Match your reaction to the problem size - save big feelings for big problems
- Remember you're learning - every time you handle a problem, you get stronger
- It's always okay to ask for help, especially with bigger problems
Common Questions
What if something feels like a big problem to me but others say it's small?
Your feelings are real and valid. However, learning to accurately size problems helps you handle them better. If something consistently feels bigger than it is, talk to a trusted adult about why it bothers you so much. There might be a way to make it easier.
Is it okay to ask for help with small problems?
Absolutely! The scale shows what you might be able to handle yourself, but asking for help is always okay. The goal is learning, not doing everything alone. Sometimes even little problems need a helping hand.
What if I'm not sure how big my problem is?
When you're unsure, it's always better to ask for help. As you practice with the scale, you'll get better at judging problem size. Until then, talking to an adult is the smart choice.